1. The false sense of security: Your mood is pretty good. You feel like moderately a functional member of society and that your existence serves some sort of purpose. Things seem to be falling into place, and you finally seem to be getting your life back together. Maybe this is it - that proverbial light at the end of the tunnel.
2. Fake it 'til you make it: You're feeling a little down, but you slap on a happy face and pretend like everything's just peachy. This is more for everyone else's benefit than your own because, after all, depression is ugly business and who wants to be around a whole mess of ugly? Besides, maybe if you fake happiness long enough, you'll actually end up happy. That's how it works in the movies, right?
3. Fake it 'til you make it is bullshit: Pretty self-explanatory. You realize that the idea of trying a "fake it 'til you make it" approach to depression is complete bullshit and pretending that it isn't bullshit just perpetuates the myth that depression is a choice. It isn't. Nobody is fucked up enough to choose depression.
4. Drowning: You realize that it's worse than you thought and that you need people. You might try to reach out and let people know you're struggling (without being too obvious - you have a reputation to uphold, after all). In public, people might even act concerned - offer a kind word or reassuring gesture. In private, it's stone cold silence. It might be because they don't know what to say. It might be because they flat out don't give a shit. In the end, the reason doesn't really matter because silence is silence and it speaks volumes.
5. Apathy: Give the people what they want - a phony smile and the pretense of a fully functional human being. It doesn't matter if it's real - they don't care. On the outside, you'll appear to be improving. In reality, you've just given up and are trying not to make people uncomfortable with all of your stupid self-loathing, all the while feeling completely dead inside. And sure, to the outside observer, feeling dead inside probably looks happier than having feelings - but it doesn't make you any less dead inside. Apathy, our old friend - you're a downright bastard. We'd hate your guts if we had any feelings left.
Lather. Rinse. Repeat. And maybe throw some extra false hope in the mix every once in a while for good measure.
