Secrets

I bet you thought this was going to be a nice, juicy post where I would bare my soul and provide lots of gossip fodder.  Well, if that's what you were hoping, this post will probably make you sad.  Better get used to it now.  Disappointing people is kind of my "thing."  Besides, as much as I wanted to write something awesome and enlightened today, I'm really just not feeling it.

Anyway, one of my friends shared this video with me the other day and I instantly loved it.  I'll listen to pretty much any kind of music, but I wasn't sure this song was going to quite be up my alley.  But the video is just fun to watch and I love the message.



I really love the idea of being a strong enough person, secure enough to say, "Screw it - I don't care who knows my secrets."  But I'm so not there yet.  Not at all.  I guess it got me thinking about what kept me from being so open about the anxiety and depression and the reason I still resist being open about other things, and it all comes down to shame.  Shame is one of the things I'm best at.  But there are just some things the world isn't ready to know about me yet. I'm not ready to tell and it's not ready to hear.  But it's something I strive for because nothing good can come of being ashamed of who I am.  Nothing.  May as well lay it all out there.  Besides, it's a lot easier to figure out who really supports you when you put yourself out there warts and all.

After the questions I've gotten lately about whether I'm "switching teams," you know, because that's obviously what chopping my hair off must mean, I wasn't sure about posting my love of a song that has the line "I can't think straight, I'm so gay" in it, but people are free to make any assumptions they want about me and my motivations for the changes I've made in my life lately. Maybe you're right.  Maybe you're wrong.  I've got to keep some mystery about me, right?  So assume all you want.  Start rumors.  Do whatever makes you happy. You won't hurt my feelings.