A Few Cards Short of a Full Deck

My husband and I met while we were in college.  Shortly after my husband and I started dating, we went to the store to pick up some pepper spray after grabbing a bite to eat.  You see, the college I went to is in the absolute worst area of town possible.  One year, someone actually got shot about 200 feet from my dorm room.  So at any rate, I figured what's more scary to a guy with a gun than a tiny little container of pepper spray?  Nothing, of course - I'm guessing that somehow that made more sense to me at the time.  But I found the most terrifying and scary looking container of pepper spray I could, and we proceeded to the check-out.  My then-newly-acquired-and-still-trying-to-impress-me boyfriend (now husband) pulled out his wallet to pay because that was apparently the gentlemanly thing to do.  I was having none of this, so I said very loudly (because I have no shame), "No, no, no - you paid for dinner, I'll pay for the protection!!!"  And then I watched everyone within earshot turn and stare at us.  My  then-boyfriend turned a shade of red I'm not sure I've ever seen in a human being before.  I laughed.  Because being a screw-off is pretty much my specialty, and making people uncomfortable is really kind of fun.  Besides which, that's what I call "trial by fire."  If you're going to stick around, you're going to have to learn to deal with the crazy pretty quickly.

So it shouldn't have come as a great surprise to my husband that my antics would continue as time went on.  When we got engaged, we did the whole wedding registry thing and because we're all kinds of trailer-chic around here, we registered at Walmart.  I admittedly got a little trigger happy with the scanner and I may or may not have scanned an economy box of condoms onto our wedding registry.  Okay, I did...and I thought it was hilarious.  Apparently, an economy box of condoms on a wedding registry is NOT hilarious.  I did not know this.  My mother, however, tried to make sure I learned this VERY quickly.  She failed.  I still think it's hilarious.  It's possible I lack some social skills that other people take for granted...but still, it's funny.  I promise it's funny.  And hey, we got an economy box of condoms on our wedding day...and it was still funny.  Truth be told, I was kind of tempted to do the same thing when I created our baby registry but decided it would probably be best not to push my luck.

And while I have yet to actually act on this, every time I go into a public bathroom and there are people there trying to have private conversations, I always feel an overwhelming desire to start making really loud grunting noises and other inappropriate bathroom sounds.  It's probably really juvenile, but I kind of feel like that's fair game.  It's a bathroom stall, not a phone booth, people.  Not to mention the fact that people talking on the phone in the bathroom gives me performance anxiety.  I just want to use the bathroom, not have my bodily functions broadcast to God-only-knows-who on the other end of the phone.  Sharing is great but for heaven's sake, there are limits.

I think going to therapy has really made me keenly aware of how "different" my thought process is.  I remember while talking with my therapist in one of my sessions a little while back she made the comment, "Well, at least you're not out on the street talking to lamp posts."  And my first thought was, "That would be hilarious - I should totally do that just to mess with people!"  Of course, the fact that not talking to lamp posts was apparently my most redeeming quality that day probably says a lot about my state of mind at the time.  I don't remember what the context of that comment was, but I don't recall being offended by it, so I'm sure that probably did feel a lot like an accomplishment at that point.

This is me talking to a lamppost.  I'm the really skinny one on the left (it's my blog - I can pretend I'm skinny if I want to...and bald and noseless and naked, apparently).  See how funny that is?  See?  It's really funny!  I promise.  Maybe if you could see it in person, you'd see how funny it is...or at least you'd laugh when the men in white coats drag me away.  It's probably only a matter of time before that happens anyway.

Really, stop looking at me like that.  I'm not weird(er than anyone else).

I partly think that I do things like this because I know people already think I'm weird, and I figure the least I can do is try to earn the title.  Part of it is because I really do find inappropriate things really funny sometimes.  That's why I love my Wreck This Journal.  It affords me the opportunity to be weird and eccentric and feel less weird and eccentric doing it.  It also offers me lots of opportunities to leave people scratching their heads by taking the book for a walk, taking it in the shower, drawing a picture using my dinner or hiding a page in my neighbor's yard.  I don't know if it's healthy, but it sure is fun.

But maybe it's just me being me in a way that isn't concerned with social norms and whether people "accept" me or not.  Maybe I'm just getting to the point where I'm comfortable enough with my quirks and oddities that I'm willing to be myself no matter what other people's reactions might be.  Maybe I just plain old like thinking outside the box.  No matter what the motivation, I find being quirky and unusual surprisingly liberating.

So call me crazy, give me the side eye, laugh at me behind my back.  No matter what the reaction, being weird is my joy and heaven knows I need as much joy as I can get these days.