For some reason I've been listening to The Fray a lot lately. No idea why. It's just been my "thing" these past couple of weeks. And I've been stuck on their song "Run For Your Life." It just feels like such an appropriate song for me to be stuck on right now, especially the second verse. I've been trying lately to run like my hair is on fire away from my past and charge ahead into the future. But the truth is that the past has a great deal of influence on the future. The quote from George Santayana, "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it" comes to mind. It's not good or healthy to dwell on the past but it's important to remember and learn.
Besides, running like your hair is on fire always seemed like really misguided advice anyway. I mean, doesn't fanning a fire just make it grow? Give yourself a swirlie like your hair is on fire - now there's some sound advice (you'll thank me for it if you ever find yourself in the unfortunate situation of having your hair actually on fire). On a side note, because I'm a loser, I actually went and looked up swirlie to make sure I spelled it right because it's just a funny looking word. Urban Dictionary said I did, and that seems about as reputable a source as there is when it comes to swirlies.
Swirlies aside, there are just so many things in my life that aren't salvageable anymore. It's sad but I cling to them like I would cling to my security blanket growing up. But just like that security blanket, these things are filled with holes, barely holding up and not really offering anything more than the illusion of security anymore.
I think there's a certain art form to being able to see things objectively, and I certainly haven't mastered it. It's taken me years and years and years to finally get away from something I've known for quite some time wasn't healthy. Hope can be a real bitch that way. You hope and hope and hope. This time will be different. This time they'll really change. This time I won't end up in the same hole I was in before. And sometimes you get lucky and it is different. But so many times it's not. And you jump through the same hoops over and over again. You just keep hoping the result will be different. You don't want to give up. You think giving up will make you a quitter. It won't. It's not your fault that you keep trying to believe the best in people. It's not your fault that you keep wishing that people will WANT to change and that they will WANT to be the best they can be. It's not your fault. It's not. It definitely, completely, 100% is not. And you're not a quitter either. There comes a point where you just need to cut your losses for your own sanity. That doesn't make you a quitter - it makes you a SURVIVOR. You aren't responsible for other people's poor decisions no matter how many times they may try to convince you that you are. And when you finally commit to surviving and putting yourself first, don't forget why you made that commitment. Cut your losses and run like hell the other direction. Stop just surviving and learn to LIVE again. You'll be different now. There's no way around that. You've changed. You've hurt and struggled and raged and cried - those things are part of you now. But you've also learned and grown and gotten stronger than you ever believed you could be.
Run for your life...because your life IS WORTH IT.
I think there's a certain art form to being able to see things objectively, and I certainly haven't mastered it. It's taken me years and years and years to finally get away from something I've known for quite some time wasn't healthy. Hope can be a real bitch that way. You hope and hope and hope. This time will be different. This time they'll really change. This time I won't end up in the same hole I was in before. And sometimes you get lucky and it is different. But so many times it's not. And you jump through the same hoops over and over again. You just keep hoping the result will be different. You don't want to give up. You think giving up will make you a quitter. It won't. It's not your fault that you keep trying to believe the best in people. It's not your fault that you keep wishing that people will WANT to change and that they will WANT to be the best they can be. It's not your fault. It's not. It definitely, completely, 100% is not. And you're not a quitter either. There comes a point where you just need to cut your losses for your own sanity. That doesn't make you a quitter - it makes you a SURVIVOR. You aren't responsible for other people's poor decisions no matter how many times they may try to convince you that you are. And when you finally commit to surviving and putting yourself first, don't forget why you made that commitment. Cut your losses and run like hell the other direction. Stop just surviving and learn to LIVE again. You'll be different now. There's no way around that. You've changed. You've hurt and struggled and raged and cried - those things are part of you now. But you've also learned and grown and gotten stronger than you ever believed you could be.
Run for your life...because your life IS WORTH IT.
Well said! Hugs, lady!
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